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Remem​bering

March 16, 2019


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Early this morning the memory filled my heart, caught my inhale before my thoughts caught up. A moment immersed in the turbulence of that night -- fear and struggle, clarity and calm. Then vast silence.

It's been five years since my brother-in-law Shawn passed away from a long fight with cancer. He was too young, he meant everything to my sister and he had a son, who, as a young adult, was just beginning to make his way in the world. We helped ease the way for Shawn that night, and then we were left remembering.

Shawn lived authentically. He communicated directly, with a clear strength people could trust, even if they didn't always agree. His huge heart embraced and sheltered those he loved. He also loved softball and played for decades on teams and in tournaments. He was a natural leader and had a vision to help kids find their own confidence and strength in sports that were accessible to everyone.

I understand his vision very well and it touches my heart.

We have Shawn's softball t-shirts. It is now time to make quilts from those shirts -- to honor Shawn and his legacy, and to give to my sister, Shawn's son, and now Shawn's grandchild a tangible memory of this extraordinary man.

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Thoughts & Reflections



Tying & Untying

March 12, 2019

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March 12, 2019


Just before spring I have the image of tying up last year's details -- the transactions, receipts, greeting cards, manuals, agreements and st​atements that tell the story of another year of living and working, offering and receiving, holding and claiming, releasing and letting go.

Facing the truth revealed by a tax return, by a closet filled with clothes that no longer fit or serve, or a box finally opened that held locked memories and stored emotions can feel daunting.

Courage allows us to look at those parts of our lives that hold us too tightly, the knots that offer few choices and can seem impossible to untie. Having patience to sit with the knots, using tools to assist, taking on small areas at a time -- are all ways I've found to get free of old constricting energy, to empty junk drawers, tackle dark basement corners, change unhealthy relationships,

 transform self doubt.

Seeing just a few freed strands inspires me and offers possibilities. How do I want this closet, this spreadsheet, these tools and supplies to be arranged? 

 How can I celebrate what went well and the many gifts freely given to me?

What do I now choose to tie together, to create, 

to hold dear? 

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Thoughts & Reflections